Head Hopping

Head hopping is not to be confused with multiple viewpoints. Multiple viewpoints are expected in romance. Head hopping refers to writing where the point of view jumps among multiple characters within a scene. 

Stay in one head long enough to ground the reader

Avoid flip-flopping between the hero and the heroine in the same scene:

"I don't like what you are implying," she said angrily. Her heart pounded because being close to him was a heady feeling. (Editor: Her POV.)

"I am not implying anything," he said defensively, finding himself completely mesmerized by her beautiful blue eyes as they stared at each other. (Editor: Now, it's his POV.)

"Then what did you mean?" she asked suspiciously, wanting him to at least admit that he missed her, too. (Editor: Back to hers.)

"I missed you," he said truthfully, not wanting to spend the little time they had together by fighting with each other. (Editor: Now, it's his. It's a ping-pong effect. Very distracting to read.)

"Did you really?" she said, delighted. Her beautiful eyes lit up to match the pure pleasure that coursed through her. (Editor: We thought it's her turn to get the POV, but it has to be his POV because she certainly can't see her own beautiful eyes light up. But he must be psychic and therefore can feel the pure pleasure as it courses through her. This is bad--head hopping in the same sentence!)

"Of course, my darling!" he cried fervently and reached for her, wanting her so badly he ached. She could resist him no longer as she reached for him with the same eagerness. (Editor: Head hopping in the same paragraph.)

Also, the writing is bad. Really bad.

And those dialogue tags and accompanying adverbs! Dialogue doesn't need a tag every time a character speaks.

  

Whose point of view is this?

(Heroine is alone in the scene.) 

Candice did not want to be late for her meeting again. She did not want to give Henry the opportunity to accuse her of deliberately trying to sabotage the project. She ran down the steps to her car, determination etched on her face, her sun-kissed blonde hair bouncing about her slender shoulders. Reaching for her car keys with slim fingers, she unlocked the door and got inside.

(Editor: Candice can't see the determination on her face unless she's looking into a mirror as she runs. Also, she is not likely to think about her blonde hair as being sun-kissed or her shoulders slender or her fingers slim. It's equivalent to reading: "I ran down the steps to my car, determination etched on my face, my sun-kissed blonde hair bouncing about my slender shoulders. Reaching for my car keys with slim fingers...").

How to fix head hopping

1. At the start of a scene, choose one point of view and stay in that character's head. The best POV is the character who has the most to lose. 
     

2. When in doubt, ask yourself: "Is this something the POV character sees, smells, tastes, hears, touches, feels, knows, or thinks?" If not, then you may be head hopping. 
    

3. Need help? Google for "head hopping" or "head-hopping."

Head hopping is a technique

If you choose to head hop from one character to the next, the trick is to make sure your readers always know whose head they are in at any particular time.

Siren will accept manuscripts for publication where head hopping is done skillfully. Unfortunately, most of the time, the author isn't even aware of this technique. Writing is a craft, and point of view should be handled properly if the author chooses to head hop.

There are some reviewers and readers who don't care about head hopping, but there are quite a lot of those who will not buy books where the author head hops.